Last autumn, my 17-year-old cat, familiar Rowan, passed right before Samhain. I was wrecked, couldn’t even set up my ancestor altar. A friend into hoodoo-style magic suggested steeping oregano and rosemary for a dark moon bath. I did it while bawling, and ~20 mins in, something shifted in my chest. Grief finally drained instead of sitting like a stone.
Repeated it every dark moon for 3 months. By Imbolc, I could talk about him without choking up. Oregano did the real work. Rosemary alone later didn’t have that heart-deep release. OP nailed it. Just my take.